At the end of the last episode of the interactive story, 45% of you voted for Choice A. So it’s off to Mould World, or Mould Park as it has been hastily rebranded, to avoid confusion…
The Adventures of Boz Part 5
The boring machine, actually a lot more interesting than it sounds, pressed on, churning up slime as it careered through the tunnel. Boz gasped. It was heading straight on! They were about to emerge on the crumbling cliff edge which led to the Boiling Sea!
“Goodbye, cruel Scumworld,” Boz said, gathering his nearest children to him and crushing some of them in a final deadly embrace.
At the last moment the machine swerved to the right, almost as though some higher power had decided Boz’s destiny. Boz brushed the remains of his children from his chest and cheered up. In fact, he cheered up immensely. His nerves began to tingle, and his two hearts sped up as though racing each other to the operating table.
They were going to Mould Park. Five miles of mould-themed extreme fun. Mrs Boz had banned him from ever returning, but he couldn’t help it. He was trapped in an out of control machine driven by three hundred of his children. Surely she would understand.
The machine emerged into daylight. Spread out below them was a huge natural bowl filled with mould.
“Welcome to Mould Park!” trilled a merry voice as the babies climbed out, gurgling. “I’m Mouldy Wouldy! Would your kids like a photo with me?”
Before Boz could answer, the mould-encased costumed character had set up a tripod and grabbed the first of the babies. Boz shrugged and walked past. Mould Park was waiting for him in all its decaying glory. It would be just like the last time, when he had spent six months and all his Scumworld dollars on one long Mouldycoaster ride. Bliss.
Boz felt a hard slap on his cheek.
“I can’t believe you brought them here, of all places! Have you forgotten your five-step mould addiction plan?” It was Mrs Boz. He had forgotten how beautiful she was. With her protruding forehead, wart-tipped nose and greasy strands of hair, she was a match for any of Scumworld Six’s top totty.
“It wasn’t me, it was them!” Boz pointed at the babies, half of whom had now been photographed with Mouldy Wouldy and were climbing on to the Putrid Puffa, a junior rollercoaster which promised a near-death experience. “How did you know we were even here?” As he said the words, his heart sank. “It was Slimy Sorg, wasn’t it? The sleazebag. I knew he had a thing for you.”
Mrs Boz tossed her greasy locks. “Actually it was these boys.”
For the first time Boz noticed the two tall, hunky blue aliens flanking his wife. They wore loin cloths and each carried a large ray gun.
“Narvagins!” he shrieked, recoiling.
“That’s right. I was hoping they’d appear before now but nobody ever voted for that option.” Mrs Boz’s eyes flicked briefly away as though looking reproachfully at someone just over Boz’s shoulder. “They’ve promised me a better life, far away from here.” She reached out an arm suddenly to her husband. “Come with me, Boz! Let’s start afresh in a warmongering alien dictatorship!”
Boz was taken aback. Leave Scumworld Six? Leave his beloved slime? Not to mention Mould Park. How could he live without the evil smell of rot and decay filling his nostrils every day? “I’m sorry,” he said finally. “But I can’t live without -”
“The children?” Mrs Boz’s face lit up. She signalled with her hand and celebratory exploding ants hurled themselves into the air, detonating their innards to spell out the words ‘SCUMWORLD’S TOP DAD’ in the air. “I knew you’d pass my test! Well, to be honest I wasn’t quite sure. In fact, I was convinced you’d fail. But that doesn’t matter, because you passed, my darling, you passed!”
Mrs Boz enveloped him in a hug. The two Narvagins stepped out of their costumes, revealing themselves to be two of Boz’s workmates from the mine.
“You…!” grinned Boz, pretending to threaten them.
“Come on,” Mrs Boz said happily. “Let’s round up the kids.”
“Some of them are still at the mine,” Boz began to explain.
“The ones Slimy Sorg didn’t shoot with his air gun.”
“And I did sit on some earlier. And hug a few to death when I thought we were about to go over a cliff.” Boz stopped, looking worried. “I am still Scumworld’s top dad, aren’t I?”
Mrs Boz put a hand on her husband’s shoulder. “Why do you think we had three thousand in the first place, darling? Don’t worry, we’ll collect the ones that survive the Putrid Puffa ride.”
Arm in arm they walked away, chuckling gently.
Overhead a Narvagin ship cast a huge shadow over Mould Park, its massive artillery poised in readiness for complete carnage. A thin blue head poked out of the driver’s side window. “Yeuch, this place is, like, rancid!” it squealed. “Get out of here, dudes!” And the ship sped away back into the stars, as quickly as it possibly go.
Thank you to everyone who voted. I hope you enjoyed reading Boz’s adventures as much as I did writing them, and I am delighted to award a free family ticket to Mould Park for the person who voted the most over the series!** Terms and conditions – Winner must not be related to Mould Park staff and must provide own transport to and from Scumworld Six.